Welcome back, brawlers! Things are just starting to heat up here in Breaking the Panels! This week we go to two heroes who are just dying to hammer it out against each other: Thor vs Steel! In Marvel's corner we have the Mjolnir wielding Asgardian God of Thunder, Thor! In DC's corner we have the kinetic sledgehammer wielding Man of Steel, ...um... Steel! Let's compare powers, shall we?
MARVEL
Thor
Real Name: Thor Odinson
Height: 6'6"
Weight: 640 lbs
Powers: Strength, endurance and resistance to injury are greater than the vast majority of his race; Extremely long-lived; immune to conventional disease and highly resistant to injury; flesh and bones are several times denser than a human's; Highly skilled Warrior; able to tap into near-infinite resources of cosmic and mystical energies; Wields Mjolnir, a virtually unbreakable hammer made of Uru enchanted by Odin, which gives him ability of flight and weather mastery, more notably commanding lightning. Trust me... there are much more powers to be added
Known Aliases: Donald Blake
First Appearance: Venus #12
What to say about Thor... Hmm... He's the freakin' God of Thunder. It's harder to get more badass than Thor in the Marvel universe. Long ago he was cast out of Asgard for being a cocky douche and starting up a war with the Frost Giants. Losing his memory, he was given the body of med student Donald Blake... for 10 years leading the boring life of a Doctor... saving peoples' lives or whatever... *yawn*. Although he does mix a little business with pleasure with Jane Foster, a nurse he worked with. Then he goes on vacation to Norway for some damned reason and discovers a walking stick.... he hits it on the ground, it turns to his hammer, and he gets his powers back to fight some aliens and stuff. He also received some of his memories before being banished from Asgard. And the rest... is Marvel history... he just continues being one big badass with long blonde hair in a winged helmet...
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| But don't make fun of his winged helmet like this poor frost giant did... |
DC
Real Name: John Henry Irons
Height: 6'7"
Weight: 290 lbs.
Powers: Extraordinary inventor and engineer; Wears a suit of powered armor which enables flight, enhanced strength, and endurance; wields a smart sledgehammer, which hits harder the farther it is thrown, is capable of independent flight, and has an on-board computer guidance and analysis system
Known Aliases: Man of Steel; Henry Johnson
First Appearance: The Adventures of Superman #500
Ah... Steel. Advanced weapons designer and engineer John Henry Irons gets saved by Superman when attempting to kill himself, then reaches an epiphany to manufacture himself to become the Man of Steel... literally. He builds a powered suit. Puts Superman's 'S' Shield on his breastplate and started beating the crap out of bad guys with a huge freakin' hammer, which he's modified since the early years with advanced technology. He also sucks at free throws...
Anyways... Steel's been a welcome edition since the early 90's to the Justice League and can certainly hold his own...
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| Let's pretend this doesn't exist... In fact... not even Comic Cinema Criticism would touch this piece of trash! |
THE BATTLE
AS MOST LIKELY TO SEE IN A COMIC ISSUE
As the Asgardian God of Thunder Thor opens a rift between Asgard and Midgard, he discovers a new Midgard different than the one he had been watching over previously. This New Earth already has a hammer wielding hero: Steel.
Thor is an Asgardian God, as Steel is a middle-aged man. This fight seems a little one-sided when looking at it like that. But, Steel has his armor, which enables him to have flight, super strength and endurance. His hammer is modified to the best state of the art technology. So basically, when suited up, he is Superman with a hammer. This puts him in the fight against Thor.
So here we are with our heroes. A fight sure to shake the grounds of Midgard! Most likely they would immediately take to the air. Thor backs far away and launches his hammer toward Steel, who bats it away and charges toward the God of Thunder. He lays into Thor pummeling him with his sledgehammer. Knocking him back, Steel hears a rushing sound of wind from behind. Uru meets steel as Thor's hammer crashes into the back of Steel's head.
I would imagine this to be an exciting brawl. Thor gets his shots in, swinging Mjolnir across Steel's head, then Steel tossing his sledge towards Thor, building enough kinetic energy to make a God bleed.
This fight would eventually have to be grounded to gain any momentum. Both combatants hit hard with their hammers hitting harder. But what turns the tide of this fight? Well... the inevitable comes out eventually. The sky darkens. Thor stands and glares a warrior's fury at his opponent. As he slowly begins to spin Mjolnir around and around his wrist, getting faster and faster, he slowly lifts into the air and with each foot higher, the darker the sky grew full of clouds. Thunder shakes the ground and lightning begins to crackle as Mjolnir was a constant blur. Finally, at the darkest point, Thor stops to raise Mjolnir to the sky and as the full force of lightning conjures from the clouds and into Thor's hammer, he lets out a bloodcurdling scream "FOR ASGARRRRDDDD!" and draws it downward onto Steel.
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THE WINNER: THOR
As tough as Steel is, he is way over matched against an Asgardian God. Thor could have easily ended it in one lightning strike... because... c'mon... steel isn't exactly the best insulator against electricity...
Tune in next week for Issue #4, When two galactic Corpsman decide who would be better suited as galactic peace keeper of Earth...
THE TALLY SO FAR:
MARVEL: 2 DC: 1
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